Not to be a downer, but I'm 67 and have experienced many of the same things--financial devastation after divorce, student loans that refuse to be paid down (or forgiven), an age that keeps me out of the running for jobs I'm over-qualified for. And, added to my list is shame--that I'm this old and still hustling for those jobs. I applaud you for putting this out there--it's a reality that many of us live and it should be part of the national conversation. Brava for you!
You're not a downer, friend. I appreciate you telling it like it is. I know we've both shared the job market frustrations. And I am mired in shame is well for not having more money than I do. It's a horrible feeling. Sending you so much gentle love tomorrow. Please take good care of you. XO
Divorce in 2010 left me busted down to my last quarter, literally. (And I had to crawl under the bed to find it :) I never take for granted getting out of that hole -- I decided that when I had $1000 in the bank, I'd feel okay, and I made it four years later, freelancing and working overtime in a call center. I remarried in 2017, and circumstances are blessedly different, knock wood, but it's something you don't forget. My friend who is like a sister is 62, and she's on her feet all night as a restaurant hostess. Here is to all our future communal spaces, because this trying to do it alone is bonkers!
I'm so happy you made it, Tracy, quarter by quarter. I can't imagine being on my feet all day, even at 55. Kudos to your friend. I wish her lots of warm foot baths. She can join our commune. <3
Cheers to our mothers who did what they had to do! I think you're one of the most amazing mothers I know, Prajna. Wishing you a wonderful celebration of YOU tomorrow! XO
I’ve been there, too—not exactly the same but similar. I took my SS this year when I turned 62 because why TF not? It might not be there when I hit retirement age anyway. And because of my SAH years , it’s less than $1000. I have no advice but I will say that the ACA and Covered California has saved me $1500 per month. I wish you could move here. (love to you, my friend.)
I'm so sorry for your struggle. I think connected with the ageism is the knowledge/fear that older women can't be pushed around the way younger people can be. I didn't finish college because I ran out of money, even with student loans. I'd worked through high school and full time in the summers, and still couldn't afford more than a year and a half. It's obscene. Food, shelter, education should be available to everyone. No matter how hard you work, if you can't command a high wage, you can't get ahead. And so much of opportunity is luck. Where were you born and to whom? Just like the luck of being born to loving parents or unloving ones. But a truly just society would make sure that basic survival needs are provided for. I wish we had that.
My one hope is for communal spaces—where we can share resources. It’s just that we need to have to resources to make that happen.
I don’t know friend. It’s all so fucking much.
I would give anything to live in and contribute to a communal space of like-minded people. I wish we could somehow make it happen, my friend. XO
Not to be a downer, but I'm 67 and have experienced many of the same things--financial devastation after divorce, student loans that refuse to be paid down (or forgiven), an age that keeps me out of the running for jobs I'm over-qualified for. And, added to my list is shame--that I'm this old and still hustling for those jobs. I applaud you for putting this out there--it's a reality that many of us live and it should be part of the national conversation. Brava for you!
You're not a downer, friend. I appreciate you telling it like it is. I know we've both shared the job market frustrations. And I am mired in shame is well for not having more money than I do. It's a horrible feeling. Sending you so much gentle love tomorrow. Please take good care of you. XO
It’s like George Carlin said: “they call it The American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Divorce in 2010 left me busted down to my last quarter, literally. (And I had to crawl under the bed to find it :) I never take for granted getting out of that hole -- I decided that when I had $1000 in the bank, I'd feel okay, and I made it four years later, freelancing and working overtime in a call center. I remarried in 2017, and circumstances are blessedly different, knock wood, but it's something you don't forget. My friend who is like a sister is 62, and she's on her feet all night as a restaurant hostess. Here is to all our future communal spaces, because this trying to do it alone is bonkers!
I'm so happy you made it, Tracy, quarter by quarter. I can't imagine being on my feet all day, even at 55. Kudos to your friend. I wish her lots of warm foot baths. She can join our commune. <3
Katrina, I so relate to the forever grind. That was my mother too. I love the little girl that says just write a check!
You are the most resourceful woman I know, and your children are so blessed to have you
Bow to the mother that you are, happy Mother’s Day.
Cheers to our mothers who did what they had to do! I think you're one of the most amazing mothers I know, Prajna. Wishing you a wonderful celebration of YOU tomorrow! XO
Happy day. I’ve got my three girls with me and that is enough
So good
Thank you friend
You too, rest and be wild
I’ve been there, too—not exactly the same but similar. I took my SS this year when I turned 62 because why TF not? It might not be there when I hit retirement age anyway. And because of my SAH years , it’s less than $1000. I have no advice but I will say that the ACA and Covered California has saved me $1500 per month. I wish you could move here. (love to you, my friend.)
I wish I could move there, too. <3 I'm glad you're taking your SS. Use it while you can, sister! We may not have it in the future. XO
I'm so sorry for your struggle. I think connected with the ageism is the knowledge/fear that older women can't be pushed around the way younger people can be. I didn't finish college because I ran out of money, even with student loans. I'd worked through high school and full time in the summers, and still couldn't afford more than a year and a half. It's obscene. Food, shelter, education should be available to everyone. No matter how hard you work, if you can't command a high wage, you can't get ahead. And so much of opportunity is luck. Where were you born and to whom? Just like the luck of being born to loving parents or unloving ones. But a truly just society would make sure that basic survival needs are provided for. I wish we had that.