The State of My Nation

And the state of my heart

I am tired.

It’s only July, the election isn’t until November, and I am exhausted.

And I am angry.

This past week has been hard.

It’s my choice to be exhausted, of course. I have been over-consuming the news, researching history, defending human rights on social media, discoursing with strangers in the hopes of possibly changing one mind, or of simply making someone think twice about what they might choose to say or do to another human being.

I could disengage, of course. I could save myself the time and the effort and the headaches and heartbreak.

But silence implies agreement, submission. And I am not in agreement. I am not ready to submit.

For speaking out about human rights and equality, I have been called a panderer, a radical liberal, a demon, mentally ill, arrogant, and part of the mindless masses. I have been accused of having some kind of evil agenda and of consorting with the devil. The list goes on and on.

It’s a lot.

But our country is in a death spiral right now. My human rights are on the line. My bodily autonomy is on the line. And none of us can believe that it’s just the women and the queers whose rights will be stripped away. Rich, white men are afraid. They’ve lost too much power, and they want it back.

At any cost.

This Martin Niemöller poem continues to play on repeat in my head:

First They Came

First they came for the Communists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And there was no one left

To speak out for me.

My work in this world is through my words. And I will continue to use them for peace, for acceptance, for advocacy, for education, for the oppressed, for the poor, for the unhoused, for the underdogs, for those whose words might fail them in the face of so much hate and vitriol.

If I ever want to sleep soundly again in this world, it’s the only choice I have.