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Julia Park Tracey's avatar

First, an experience, and a thought: my divorce from my ex was horrific. He reacted as the drunk always acts, as the addict always acts, when you stop supporting the addiction. Striking out, scorching the Earth black. I was left with nothing, not even my children. I won them back, I earned my settlement, and I made a new life from zero. And I thought I would never be happy again. And somewhere along the way I learned that happy/joy is so elusive. It’s the oasis on the far side of the desert, but it’s not right next to you. Sometimes you get there, but you can’t live there. Being content is a place I can live. That doesn’t mean I’m not often happy and joyful but being content is the greatest gift of all, to me.

Second: it’s all horrific. I’m trying to keep creating, building community, and hunkering down. And I know we are in a position of privilege because of our white skin. As a Karen, we too, could get away with murder… Until we can’t. Until the leopards eat our faces as well. Know that I’m in it with you for the long haul.

The earth is my church now, and taking care of it, and my community is my great commandment.

Love you, my friend, and we’ve never even really met.

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Kate Mapother's avatar

I was at a dinner with friends as close to me as my own heart, and the unanimous plan for the next however many years til we pull our American heads out of our asses, was to hunker down within their relationship and family, and spend time near close friends in their community. I can’t think of anything better.

I also know lots of people don’t have those things to hunker into.

I feel every word of what you wrote here. I feel like even since the election, so many of us have drifted off to sleep in the warm water, forgetting that it’s on its way to a boil. 17 fucking days.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here. Everything I guess. But mostly that I’m with you. And I appreciate your voice — now more than ever.

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