Being in that space is so hard. Please try to practice a lot of self-care (in addition to kitty-care). I know it sounds very cliche, but things do get better. That's the nature of this life, the ups and downs. I'm wishing you lots of joy-filled days ahead, and I'm sending you so many hugs. XOXO
Hi Leslie, I know you don't know me from Eve, BUT I just want to say that you have most certainly touched people's and cat's lives in ways you cannot fathom. We do not know the ripple effect of our actions, small and big on the larger community around us. There was a day in the past when you complimented someone or just smiled at them, and that action turned their day around and they went on and did the same for someone else, who may have been considering leaving the planet too....never ever forget that we are all connected deeply on a soul level and we all deserve to be here and are here to do works we are mostly unconscious of. You are loved beyond measure by more people than you can even fathom. You are NEEDED here and WORTHY of this life. Sending you a massive hug through this strange interconnected thing of bits and bytes, Dawn
I love how you included the suicide hotline after your call to action: "please choose to stay."
Your essay today resonates, overlaps a lot with the one I published on Friday. It's a strange consolation to hear other mothers admit this dark truth - the belief that their kids would be better off without them - because when it happened to me, all I could think was that something was deeply flawed about me. The shame just compounded upon existing shame.
I'm still reading your memoir, and I'm astonished at your bravery and authenticity. As humans, I think we're all deeply flawed in many different ways, and parenting is so incredibly hard. There is a great deal of comfort in hearing someone else say, "me, too." Know that you're never alone in your experiences and your feelings. Sending you lots of joy and hope today. XOXO
Hearing you say that means more than I can express to you, Katrina. I was on the brink of abandoning my memoir this past week. Truly saying goodbye because it's no good and has no way of getting published. I think you just gave me the strength to press on with it. Thank you for that. 😊
By the way, your memoir is incredibly brave and honest, too. Women don't get enough credit for our tenacity.
As the daughter of a mother who has attempted suicide several times in the past 20 years, I can tell you the sense of abandonment is profound, even when a parent survives. It also damages trust. The healthcare system doesn’t make it any easier, either.
I'm so sorry you've experienced so much pain with your mother. And that she, too, has been in so much pain. Gawd, this life is hard sometimes, isn't it? I'm no longer in that terrifyingly dark place, but all rational thought was gone when I was. I truly believed my kids would be better off without me. Sending you lots of love and comfort. I'm really enjoying reading your Substack. <3
Thank you! I hesitated to mention my POV because I don’t want to detract from your experience and essay, but it is interesting to see it from “both” (sad) sides. (My mother still lacks a lot of insight around her mental illness so it’s not something we talk about.) I love your Substack and keep writing your memoir!!! It’s such a slog. I’m there, too.
I'm grateful that you are here and that you are speaking so vulnerably and candidly about how you felt when you believed your family would be better off without you. I cannot tell you the number of suicide survivors that I spoke with when I was a hospital chaplain and they each said something very similar to me. In the moment before they were back in their bodies they were shown the choices that they did have where they might have believed they didn't have any. They were told that they were choosing a permanent solution and might they actually believe in the possibility that they could ever be on the other side of the horribleness of whatever it was? I heard a version of this countless times in the ICU, and it always felt so sacred to me. I also know that a death by suicide is a complicated sorrow and grief because it leaves the family NOT as the person imagines it will, yet beyond devastated with all the "would of, could of and should of" questions. Writing as you are opens up and creates conversations and these are the ones that we are needing to have. My deepest gratitude, Katrina, and heartfelt healing for your sweet dog too. 💜🐾
Thank you so much for your beautiful insight, Joanie. What an honor it must have been to hold those stories of survival. Thank you for sharing them. And Ruby is doing well. A few stitches in her mouth, and she's as good as new. XO
Thank you for sharing.
I have these type of days frequently... my kitties keep me going. I'm trying, but I'm extremely exhausted (in every way).
I'm so glad your days are more fulfilled & joyous. 😊
Thank you, again, and best wishes to you & George. 🩵
Being in that space is so hard. Please try to practice a lot of self-care (in addition to kitty-care). I know it sounds very cliche, but things do get better. That's the nature of this life, the ups and downs. I'm wishing you lots of joy-filled days ahead, and I'm sending you so many hugs. XOXO
Thank you for your kind words, Katrina. 🩵
Hi Leslie, I know you don't know me from Eve, BUT I just want to say that you have most certainly touched people's and cat's lives in ways you cannot fathom. We do not know the ripple effect of our actions, small and big on the larger community around us. There was a day in the past when you complimented someone or just smiled at them, and that action turned their day around and they went on and did the same for someone else, who may have been considering leaving the planet too....never ever forget that we are all connected deeply on a soul level and we all deserve to be here and are here to do works we are mostly unconscious of. You are loved beyond measure by more people than you can even fathom. You are NEEDED here and WORTHY of this life. Sending you a massive hug through this strange interconnected thing of bits and bytes, Dawn
OH! AND ONE MORE THING - when you feel hopeless, do something for someone....It works like a charm.
OH! And ANOTHER THING! - READ THIS!! https://elizabethgilbert.substack.com/p/letters-from-love-with-special-guest-527
Thank you for your kindness, and please know that your words here have turned my day around.
Much Love, Peace & Kindness to you, Dawn.
PS. Thank you for the Substack link. 💚
Katrina,
I love how you included the suicide hotline after your call to action: "please choose to stay."
Your essay today resonates, overlaps a lot with the one I published on Friday. It's a strange consolation to hear other mothers admit this dark truth - the belief that their kids would be better off without them - because when it happened to me, all I could think was that something was deeply flawed about me. The shame just compounded upon existing shame.
So thank you for this. It's a sliver of hope. ❤️
I'm still reading your memoir, and I'm astonished at your bravery and authenticity. As humans, I think we're all deeply flawed in many different ways, and parenting is so incredibly hard. There is a great deal of comfort in hearing someone else say, "me, too." Know that you're never alone in your experiences and your feelings. Sending you lots of joy and hope today. XOXO
Hearing you say that means more than I can express to you, Katrina. I was on the brink of abandoning my memoir this past week. Truly saying goodbye because it's no good and has no way of getting published. I think you just gave me the strength to press on with it. Thank you for that. 😊
By the way, your memoir is incredibly brave and honest, too. Women don't get enough credit for our tenacity.
As the daughter of a mother who has attempted suicide several times in the past 20 years, I can tell you the sense of abandonment is profound, even when a parent survives. It also damages trust. The healthcare system doesn’t make it any easier, either.
I'm so sorry you've experienced so much pain with your mother. And that she, too, has been in so much pain. Gawd, this life is hard sometimes, isn't it? I'm no longer in that terrifyingly dark place, but all rational thought was gone when I was. I truly believed my kids would be better off without me. Sending you lots of love and comfort. I'm really enjoying reading your Substack. <3
Thank you! I hesitated to mention my POV because I don’t want to detract from your experience and essay, but it is interesting to see it from “both” (sad) sides. (My mother still lacks a lot of insight around her mental illness so it’s not something we talk about.) I love your Substack and keep writing your memoir!!! It’s such a slog. I’m there, too.
For some reason, this one really got to me. Lump in ❤️
XOXO
I'm so glad you stayed. I'm so glad I stayed too. I pinky promise to always stay, for as long as I possibly can 🫂❤️ Thanks for being here ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so grateful you're here, Mesa. Someday, I'll get to hug you in person. Pinky promise. <3
I can't wait 😍😍😍
I'm grateful that you are here and that you are speaking so vulnerably and candidly about how you felt when you believed your family would be better off without you. I cannot tell you the number of suicide survivors that I spoke with when I was a hospital chaplain and they each said something very similar to me. In the moment before they were back in their bodies they were shown the choices that they did have where they might have believed they didn't have any. They were told that they were choosing a permanent solution and might they actually believe in the possibility that they could ever be on the other side of the horribleness of whatever it was? I heard a version of this countless times in the ICU, and it always felt so sacred to me. I also know that a death by suicide is a complicated sorrow and grief because it leaves the family NOT as the person imagines it will, yet beyond devastated with all the "would of, could of and should of" questions. Writing as you are opens up and creates conversations and these are the ones that we are needing to have. My deepest gratitude, Katrina, and heartfelt healing for your sweet dog too. 💜🐾
Thank you so much for your beautiful insight, Joanie. What an honor it must have been to hold those stories of survival. Thank you for sharing them. And Ruby is doing well. A few stitches in her mouth, and she's as good as new. XO
Such smiles surrounding you. If you ever find yourself feeling so low again, look at that picture because it shows how you gifted them. You did good.