What a fabulous essay, Katrina! And you are braver than me in your willingness to read those comments. I had an essay come out last September, and my strategy was to have a friend look at them for me. She sent any positive ones she thought I might want to see and let me live in ignorant bliss of the flood of cruelty I know exists there. Congrats on this wonderful accomplishment!
You know, the people who would read your words and then spew hatred in the comments... They are full of self loathing and shame. They see you shining and sharing your joy and happiness, and they envy that freedom.
Keep shining. Keep glowing with your inner light. The right people will see who you are and love you for it. And the haters? They have to live with their loneliness and fear every night. But you don't.
So glad you are here. Keep writing. Keep showing up.
I have officially renamed you Katrina the Brave! Although, it should be noted that I considered Sinful Garbage for a sec. Oy... Whenever I encounter this kind of hate and insanity, I can't help but think of Mary Oliver's famous question: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Is this it, trolls? This is your answer to that question? What a waste. I mean, really, what a waste of time and energy and originality, for God's sake. The least they could do is attempt to be creative. It's boring and old and tired and cruel and completely predictable. You are none of those things, Katrina the Brave. And aren't we all the better for it... Onward.
I read your essay and felt like you'd taken the reader by the hand and showed us sacred insights, revelations, and tender stories that spoke to a larger theme of living authentically (which is a term that can be so vague and meaningless). You were GIFTING readers with this powerful perspective AND delivered it in exquisite prose!! It was zero cost to US to read and yet I worried about the cost it was to you. I read a few of the comments and found all the joy and inspiration I'd felt from reading your story be swallowed up and that made me so angry. I worried about you all day. So to read this follow up, I am in awe once again... another gift from Katrina's pen to our eyes and hearts.
What you pointed out in this section is so important: "It was a lesson in humanity to compare the internet troll comments to the comments in one of my online female writing groups. In the second group, what stood out for them was the lyricism of the writing, the heart and soul of the struggle, the nuanced storytelling."
For ever and always I want to be on the side of the second group. That is where the joy, the beauty, and the connection is... that is where YOU are and I will ALWAYS stand with you.
You are such a great writer. Even your “I got trolled” post is wonderfully written. I am so glad you are here doing what you do, and doing it as your authentic self 💛
I will never forget when I was teaching elementary school and I might have 29 favorable conferences and the one that was not, is the one that occupied my mind on the drive home. You owe no explanations to anyone about your most intimate and private decisions. No defending needed because those who are filled with venom are going to release just that when they are squeezed. I’m with you and keep trying to envision a kinder and inclusive world. As my mentor reminds me, we just are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I will never understand nor condone these kinds of acts. You keep sharing your heart, your path and if you help just one person you are triumphant. That first person is you! And so many more are in line. Those comments often come with energetic cords. Get them off and send them back into the ethers. They are not yours! Gentle care as you continue to sift, sort and share yourself as YOU are unapologetically and without explanations. This is where and how you shine. 💫💜
I was raised in a conservative Catholic family. To my parents' credit, I was not led to believe any one group of people were vile or subhuman. I do see the many problems with conservatism and have distanced myself from the main ideologies in the last several years.
To me, people are people. Why not get to know who they are? What they like and don't like, where they come from, their histories and dreams and losses and hopes? That's what I love about all people. It's that we all have commonalities, if only we get to know others at a heart level.
There's so little time for us to waste on hate. It's more important to me, the older I get, to love than to be right - or to think I'm right.
I'll add that the counselor in me (that's my professional background) believes that people who are this hateful, as you experienced, actually hate themselves. They are incredibly unaware of who they are and of their own struggles, shadow sides, shame.
I don't think people in general can tolerate uncertainty, ambiguity, or nuance. They want life and people to fit into tidy boxes, but the simple truth is that we don't. No one does.
I say often that there are many questions in life that have no answers, many problems without solutions. Sometimes life just is what it is and we can't explain why or how.
What you did both in your memoir and your essay is tell your story. You did it clearly and honestly. You did so from your heart. How can anyone dispute that? How can anyone be furious with it? It's your story, yours alone. And you're giving voice to it so that others can find themselves in the words you so aptly put into their experiences.
That's an incredible gift.
You are an incredible human, Katrina. Your life and mine have taken very different trajectories, but at the heart level, I truly feel a kinship with you. Your book left me with laughter and tears at the recognition of myself in what you wrote and how you reflected on your life. That, too, is a gift.
Keep on shining your light and being the incredible human you are. Sending ❤️
What a fabulous essay, Katrina! And you are braver than me in your willingness to read those comments. I had an essay come out last September, and my strategy was to have a friend look at them for me. She sent any positive ones she thought I might want to see and let me live in ignorant bliss of the flood of cruelty I know exists there. Congrats on this wonderful accomplishment!
You know, the people who would read your words and then spew hatred in the comments... They are full of self loathing and shame. They see you shining and sharing your joy and happiness, and they envy that freedom.
Keep shining. Keep glowing with your inner light. The right people will see who you are and love you for it. And the haters? They have to live with their loneliness and fear every night. But you don't.
So glad you are here. Keep writing. Keep showing up.
I have officially renamed you Katrina the Brave! Although, it should be noted that I considered Sinful Garbage for a sec. Oy... Whenever I encounter this kind of hate and insanity, I can't help but think of Mary Oliver's famous question: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Is this it, trolls? This is your answer to that question? What a waste. I mean, really, what a waste of time and energy and originality, for God's sake. The least they could do is attempt to be creative. It's boring and old and tired and cruel and completely predictable. You are none of those things, Katrina the Brave. And aren't we all the better for it... Onward.
I read your essay and felt like you'd taken the reader by the hand and showed us sacred insights, revelations, and tender stories that spoke to a larger theme of living authentically (which is a term that can be so vague and meaningless). You were GIFTING readers with this powerful perspective AND delivered it in exquisite prose!! It was zero cost to US to read and yet I worried about the cost it was to you. I read a few of the comments and found all the joy and inspiration I'd felt from reading your story be swallowed up and that made me so angry. I worried about you all day. So to read this follow up, I am in awe once again... another gift from Katrina's pen to our eyes and hearts.
What you pointed out in this section is so important: "It was a lesson in humanity to compare the internet troll comments to the comments in one of my online female writing groups. In the second group, what stood out for them was the lyricism of the writing, the heart and soul of the struggle, the nuanced storytelling."
For ever and always I want to be on the side of the second group. That is where the joy, the beauty, and the connection is... that is where YOU are and I will ALWAYS stand with you.
You are such a great writer. Even your “I got trolled” post is wonderfully written. I am so glad you are here doing what you do, and doing it as your authentic self 💛
I will never forget when I was teaching elementary school and I might have 29 favorable conferences and the one that was not, is the one that occupied my mind on the drive home. You owe no explanations to anyone about your most intimate and private decisions. No defending needed because those who are filled with venom are going to release just that when they are squeezed. I’m with you and keep trying to envision a kinder and inclusive world. As my mentor reminds me, we just are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I will never understand nor condone these kinds of acts. You keep sharing your heart, your path and if you help just one person you are triumphant. That first person is you! And so many more are in line. Those comments often come with energetic cords. Get them off and send them back into the ethers. They are not yours! Gentle care as you continue to sift, sort and share yourself as YOU are unapologetically and without explanations. This is where and how you shine. 💫💜
Katrina,
I was raised in a conservative Catholic family. To my parents' credit, I was not led to believe any one group of people were vile or subhuman. I do see the many problems with conservatism and have distanced myself from the main ideologies in the last several years.
To me, people are people. Why not get to know who they are? What they like and don't like, where they come from, their histories and dreams and losses and hopes? That's what I love about all people. It's that we all have commonalities, if only we get to know others at a heart level.
There's so little time for us to waste on hate. It's more important to me, the older I get, to love than to be right - or to think I'm right.
I'll add that the counselor in me (that's my professional background) believes that people who are this hateful, as you experienced, actually hate themselves. They are incredibly unaware of who they are and of their own struggles, shadow sides, shame.
I don't think people in general can tolerate uncertainty, ambiguity, or nuance. They want life and people to fit into tidy boxes, but the simple truth is that we don't. No one does.
I say often that there are many questions in life that have no answers, many problems without solutions. Sometimes life just is what it is and we can't explain why or how.
What you did both in your memoir and your essay is tell your story. You did it clearly and honestly. You did so from your heart. How can anyone dispute that? How can anyone be furious with it? It's your story, yours alone. And you're giving voice to it so that others can find themselves in the words you so aptly put into their experiences.
That's an incredible gift.
You are an incredible human, Katrina. Your life and mine have taken very different trajectories, but at the heart level, I truly feel a kinship with you. Your book left me with laughter and tears at the recognition of myself in what you wrote and how you reflected on your life. That, too, is a gift.
Keep on shining your light and being the incredible human you are. Sending ❤️